Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction:  Her Heart Be False  (Installment #4)

By: Dark Phoenix (Carolyn Brickhouse)

Disclaimer:  The great and powerful Takahashi Rumiko owns these
characters, but not the story idea (*evil laugh*).  This is the 4th
installment in my
ongoing series, which comes right after my fanfiction "Masquerade Ball
Battle: Ranma vs. Tsubasa. As you can tell, I'm having a grand time
writing these stories
(which occur after the events of manga Vol. 38), and I hope you get as
much pleasure out of reading them as I did writing them.  And now . . . on
with the story!  :)

PART I:  My Love Wants Another?  Impossible!

        "OHOHOHOHOHOHOHHHH!"
        Emerging from the darkroom on the Kunou estate, Kodachi 'Black
Rose' Kunou, martial arts gymnist and psychopath extraordinaire, smugly
shuffled the photos she carried.  As she made her way to the  courtyard--her
brother's favorite haunt these days--she could only think of the pleasure
she'd derive from the trouble she was about to cause.
        "Won't my dear brother be surprised when he sees these," she
chuckled to herself as she glided down the hallway.  Without a pause in
her step, she yelled for the Kunou family's manservant.
        "Sasuke!"
        "Yes, Mistress.  Coming, Mistress,"  Sasuke, the Kunou family's
small and somewhat inept ninja, answered from above as he darted about the
ceiling.  In his haste to answer the Black Rose's summons, he tripped
and came crashing down in her path.
        "Ooooh,"  he moaned, as soft human body met cold, unyielding floor.
        Kodachi halted in her tracks and hissed,  "Clumsy fool!  You almost
fell on me."
        "Sorry, Mistress,"  Sasuke whimpered.
        "Idiot.  Remind me to poison you later today.
        "Yes, Mistress."
        "Fine."  Her ire having subsided for a moment, the Black Rose went
back to admiring the photos.  "Now about those negatives--you're certain
those are _all_ the ones you had?"
        Ignoring her, Sasuke mumbled something as he picked himself off the
floor.
        Kodachi speared him with a suspicious gaze.  "What was that?"
        "Nothing at all, Mistress,"  Sasuke amended, bowing submissively.
"I only meant to say yes, I have given you all the negatives of the
pictures I took at the masquerade ball."
        "Um-hmm." Kodachi smiled wickedly.  "I must admit, you've even done
better than that idiot Gosunkugi,"  she said.  "The last time I ordered
him to take pictures like these, he ended up beaten to a pulp."  Again she
smiled, as though it were a fond memory.  "Poor fool.  He let that witch
outwit him.  Really, men can be so careless sometimes."
        Not daring to disagree, Sasuke could only rub his sore face and
nod.
        "At any rate, these will be just what I need to drive my dear
brother mad with grief.  Once he hears that one of his precious little
sweethearts has been unfaithful to him . . ."  She broke off, tingling
with ki, then  managed to regain her composure.  She gazed sharply at the
ninja.  "Why is it you didn't get any of the more damning pictures,
Sasuke?  These only show her little attempts at foreplay."
        "Forgive me, Mistress Kodachi,"  mumbled Sasuke.  "I tried to, but
I ran out of film.  By the time I came back with more, she and the young
man were gone."
        The Black Rose sniffed.  "No matter.  These will have to suffice.
Now,"  she added, gliding past him, "disappear until I need you again."
She glanced back at him with an ominous grin.  "I must inform my dear
brother of this heartwrenching news."  She pretended to pout.  "And of
course I must be there to wallow in his unhappiness!"
        Sasuke shivered as Kodachi's familiar laughter resounded throughout
the halls.

        Out in the courtyard, Tatewaki 'Blue Thunder' Kunou, wannabe poet
and lecher extraordinaire, toyed with the red rose he held in his hand.
His
eyes raised to the heavens, he wallowed in memories.
        <Akane Tendou, how beautiful you were at the masquerade ball.  The
dress that clothed your lovely form was as stunning as the stars which
grace the
kami's heaven.>  He took a deep breath, relishing the sweet scent of the
rose.  <And along with you, equally lovely, was my Pig-Tailed Goddess . .
>
        Wistfully he recalled images of the Osage-no-Onna who, dressed as a
harem maiden, had competed in some sort of contest with some other wench--
what
was her name?  Oh, who cared?--and won by bellydancing.  Though he'd been
weak and weary (from her smashing him into the floor for 'hugging'
her), he'd been alert enough to observe her performance.  A slave of his
hormones, Kunou trembled, recalling how gracefully his Goddess had wielded
a pair of Japanese fans in tune with her body . . . .
        "If only I'd had time to request she dance for me," he murmured,
cursing his bad luck.  It seemed whenever he had even the slightest chance
of being alone with her, something catastrophic happened, leaving him
bereft of his Goddess' company.  And then all he had left were memories of
a beauty--
        --who was possessed by Ranma Saotome.
        Fuming, Kunou crushed the rose in his hand.  "That--that wretch!"
he yelled to the skies.  "He truly _does_ have her, body and soul.  He
must indeed have great power, to be able to place himself _in_ her body in
order to keep her from me!"  He growled.  "To make her shun me, her
dearest love!  But though Saotome is powerful, I shall fight on.  Somehow
I _will_ drive him from her body."  He tingled with ki as his mad oath
took hold of him.  "And then I shall cherish the full attentions of both
Akane Tendou AND my Pig-Tailed Venus.  Bwahahahahahaaaaaa!"
        As Kunou laughed maniacally, he failed to notice the quiet approach
of his sibling.
        "Ahem,"  Kodachi began, toying idly with her long black ponytail.
"Greetings, Oniisama."
        Kunou stopped cackling long enough to calm down and bow slightly to
her. "Ah, greetings, my twisted sister."  Then the pain from the rose
thorns digging into his palm caught up with him.
        "Gyaaaaaaaah!"
        Kodachi sighed.  "How careless you are, Brother."  She gazed at him
through narrowed eyes.  "But then you always were, especially in matters
of love."
        Kunou stopped yowling and gazed sharply at her.  "I, the great
Tatewaki Kunou, careless in matters of love?  Surely you jest, Sister."
        "Oh, but I don't."  Kodachi giggled behind one hand while the other
clutched the pictures behind her back.  "After all, you love Akane Tendou,
the plainest and"--she made a face--"most unladylike girl on the face of
the earth."
        "How dare you, Sister?"  Kunou thundered, picking the last thorn
out of his reddened hand.
"How can you say such things about such a woman as
Akane Tendou?"  His eyes glazed over (as they usually did whenever he
indulged in his hormone-driven thoughts).  "Such beauty and power is
nothing to scoff at."  He scrutinized her.  "And how can _you_ talk,
when you love that fiend Ranma Saotome, the very monster who has enslaved
my Pig-Tailed Goddess?"
        At the mentioning of  the Osage-no-Onna, Kodachi pretended to have
just remembered something.  "And speaking of that--that--_female_ who is
also your true love"--she paused, savoring the moment--"it pains me to say
it, but I fear she has been . . . "
        Kunou peered at her, interested.  "Has been what?  Nothing other
than perfect!"
        "Perfect?  That little tramp?"
        Kunou's mouth opened and closed.  "Sister,"
he whispered, not believing what he'd just heard, "did you call my Goddess
a . . . tramp?"
        "I did!"  Kodachi snarled, thrusting the stack of photos in his
face.  "And this is why!"
        "Eh?"  Kunou grabbed the photos and looked at the top picture.  His
heart almost stopped.
        There she was--he could see it clearly.  His Osage-no-Onna, clad in
the green harem costume that had driven him crazy in his dreams for the
past few nights, was . . . wrestling with another man.
        Another man.
        Kunou gulped, trembling.  He felt as though someone had beaten him
with his own bokken.  Meanwhile, Kodachi grinned.
        "There.  You see?"  she purred, pointing at the photo.  "Our
faithful Sasuke secured these pictures, which clearly show that your Pig-
Tailed Goddess is a Pig-Tailed Hussy!"
        "No,"  moaned Kunou, sinking to the ground.  "No . . ."
        "Yes!"  Kodachi eagerly flipped to the next picture, and the next.
"_Now_ do you understand why that girl is not fit to become part of the
illustrious Kunou family?  Look at her!  Shameless cat!  And look at
_him_."  She pointed out the man in the picture.  "Pretending to squeeze
his eyes shut, when he's enjoying every moment."  She clucked her tongue.
"The nerve!"
        "But . . ."  Kunou shook his head, a river of tears brimming in his
eyes.  "But . . . why . . . why would she--"
        "Oniisama, what else could you expect from someone like her?
Consider it."  She counted on her fingers.  "First of all, she has no
shame, exposing herself at the slightest provocation--"
        "She is simply as bold as she is lovely," her brother argued,
regaining some of his composure.
        Kodachi sniffed, annoyed with the interruption.  "Second of all,
she dares stand in the way of my gaining Ranma-sama's love--"
        "Ranma Saotome is nothing but a demonic cretin,"  Kunou spat.
        "And third of all,"  his sister continued, biting back the urge to
scream, "this hussy of yours has dared assumed my Ranma's own name."  She
stamped her foot.  "That is _completely_ unacceptable!"
        "My Goddess only has his name because she is enthralled by him,"
Kunou reminded her.  "It is a master's custom to brand his slaves with his
own name."
        "My Ranma would never enslave a woman!  He's
too much of a gentleman."
        Kunou clutched at his chest.  "Gentleman?  Bah!"  He thumbed
through the pictures and frowned.  "My poor Venus.  Surely she is not
sporting with this man because she wishes to."  He ground his teeth.
"There can only be one reason for this travesty--Saotome!"
        Kodachi blinked.  "Excuse me?"
        "You heard, Sister."  Again his eyes glazed over as Kunou family
logic (illogic?) took over.  "Saotome made her do this.  Did I not tell
you that he dwells within her body?  That he directly forces her to do his
fiendish work?"
        "Eww!"  Kodachi made a face.  "My Ranma in
that--hussy's _body_?"
        Kunou nodded.  "My Goddess managed to break his control over her
long enough to tell me from her own lips.  Why he has chosen my precious
maiden  for his evil . . ."  He burst into tears.
        But Kodachi's own twisted mind was calculating.  "But . . . but
that means . . . that my Ranma was
. . in her body when she was with this other man!"  She shivered.  "No,
that cannot be so!"
        "I would expect as much from Saotome, Sister.  It is not written
that demons have no soul, no conscience?  If anything, he gained a twisted
pleasure from this travesty of justice."
        Kodachi shook her head stubbornly.  "I still don't believe it."
        "Believe what you will, Sister."  He studied the photos again, more
carefully this time.  He focused on the man in the picture.  "Hmm.
Methinks that young man looks familiar."
        "Really?"  Kodachi also took a look.  Her eyes widened.  "Why,
Brother, is that not that wandering miscreant--oh, what's his name--"
        "Ryouga Hibiki,"  her brother finished.  "Yes, that's who he is."
He growled.  "The cretin!"
        "Hmm?"  Kodachi seemed confused.
        "Can you not see?  He is in league with Saotome!"
        Kodachi regarded her brother.  "Are you certain?  Every time I see
them together, they're always fighting."
        "Ah, but that's what they want us to think!"  Suddenly Kunou's
imagination was on a roll.  "My Goddess would never give herself to this
Ryouga Hibiki--or any other man--willingly.  No, Sister, this man is as
guilty as Saotome."  His ire aroused, he unsheathed his bokken and tapped
it against his palm.  "And he shall pay."
        Had Kodachi been anything other than a lady, she might have
guffawed.  This was so much fun.  True, it hadn't worked out as well as
she'd planned--her brother seemed more angry with her Ranma-sama and this
Ryouga person than with that Pig-Tailed Hussy.  Kodachi knew she wasn't as
blind as her brother:  To her the Osage-no-Onna was every bit the tramp
Kodachi thought she was, and the Black Rose was certain she'd have her
revenge.
        <But even if I don't,> the Black Rose figured, cackling aloud, <my
dear brother will at least have amused me for a while.>

****

        Back at the Tendou Doujou Ryouga Hibiki sighed as he stepped out of
the warm bath.  After spending the past week as P-chan, Akane's pet pig,
he felt relieved at being able to resume human form.  Of course, he'd been
cursed so long it hardly seemed odd to have a pig's body sometimes.  Oh,
he still wanted to be cured, but in the meantime, being Akane's pet at
least allowed him the chance to be close to her.
        And keep an eye on her fiance.
        Although Ranma wouldn't admit anything in his presence, Ryouga
suspected something was up.  Lately Ranma and Akane had been, well,
strangely civil to each other.  True, they still fought and argued in
front of their family, but during those rare moments when they were alone
(or rather, when neither of them knew P-chan was present)  that changed.
        His thoughts drifted to the previous day . . . .

***
        As usual, Otoko-Ranma was chasing him (as
P-chan) around the house, furious at his rival for having slept in Akane's
bed _again._  Just as Ranma was about to corner the piglet Akane
intervened--with a well-placed fist in Ranma's face--and dragged him
upstairs by his pigtail.  P-chan's curiosity got the better of him, and
the piglet trotted silently upstairs to Akane's room, where he crouched
just out of sight beside the doorway.  He felt guilty, eavesdropping like
this, but something in his gut told him he needed to hear the
conversation.
        Akane quietly shut the door,  leaving it cracked slightly, and
planted herself in front of Ranma, who sat on her bed rubbing his face.
Curling up so as to appear asleep, P-chan placed his piggy ear against the
wall and  listened.
        "You didn't have to smack me so hard," Ranma grumbled, sulking.
        "I wouldn't have to,"  Akane reminded him, hands on her hips, "if
you didn't always pick on my poor little P-chan."  She let out an
exasperated sigh.  "Really, Ranma, why do you hate an innocent pig?"
        "It ain't an innocent pig!"  her fiance fired back.  Oh, how he
wished her could tell her that her pet was Ryouga's cursed form.
        Akane shook her head.  "There you go again--suspecting P-chan of
wrongdoing when all he is is a helpless little animal."  She paused. "And
come to think of it, you treat Ryouga-kun the same way."  She peered hard
at him.  "You know, I think it's time you told me what the real grievance
is between you two."
        Ranma froze, and P-chan withheld a gasp.  Long ago Ranma had sworn
by the Warrior's Code not to reveal Ryouga's secret, but ever since P-chan
had
observed how closer together Ranma and Akane had gotten, he'd begun to
fear that maybe--maybe--Ranma would confess everything.
        Making them both dead meat.
        <Don't tell her,>  P-chan thought, suppressing an anguished squeal.
        Ranma sighed and looked away.  Akane tapped her foot.
        "Ranma, I'm waiting."
        "Look . . . Akane,"  Ranma forced out, bowing his head, "this . . .
rivalry between Ryouga and me
. . it's just a guy thing.  Nothing more."
        "'A guy thing?'"  Sitting, Akane quirked an eyebrow.  "So . . . you
two fight because of some macho ritual or something?"
        "Well . . . yeah."  Ranma brightened a little bit, suspecting she
might be satisfied with that answer.  "You know how we guys are.  Ha ha.
Heh."
        "Hmm."  Still Akane looked unconvinced.  "Maybe, but I bet there's
more to it than that."  She fixed him with another glare.  "So spill it."
        "But--"
        "Spill it!"
        <Kuso,>  Ranma swore.  He took a deep breath.  "Akane, I . . . I .
. think you should know that
. ."
        P-chan shivered.  <You bastard!  Don't tell!>
        Akane leaned forward.  "Yes?  Go on."
        Throwing up his hands, Ranma squeezed his eyes shut.  "I . . .
think Ryouga's jealous of us."
        P-chan face-faulted (as best as a pig could, mind you.).
        Akane blinked.  "Jealous?  Of . . . us?"
        "Yeah.  You see, Ryouga . . . he doesn't have anybody.  Well, Akari
likes him.  A lot.  But . . ."  He trailed off, not sure he should finish.
        Outside P-chan groaned.  <Why'd you bring that up?>  The piglet
started to pound his head against the floor, then caught himself.
        Her eyes widening, Akane gasped.  "So you're saying he's angry
because we're . . .  together?"
        "Yeah,"  Ranma continued, irritated.  "I'm in a relationship"--he
marvelled briefly, hardly believing he'd actually said that--"and he's
not, so he takes it out on me.  _That's_  why I try to beat the hell
out of him."  No sense in telling her that Ryouga was madly in love with
her--she'd feel even more sorry for him.  "Now, you satisfied?"
        Suddenly Akane looked very sad.  "Oh, poor Ryouga-kun," she
murmured, and fell silent.
        <Ranma, you idiot!>  P-chan thought angrily.  <She'll think I'm
some basket case.  She'll think
. .>  Then he considered.  <But . . . maybe that will make her
appreciate me more.>  Brightening a bit, he rose and carefully poked his
head through the
door--
        --to see a grim-faced Akane holding Ranma's hands.
        Ranma's hands.
        He couldn't bear any more.  Grunting sadly, Ryouga turned on his
hooves and shuffled away.***

        Ryouga sighed.
        That scene between Akane and Ranma would haunt him a long time.  He
wished he could just approach Akane and confess his love.  Better yet, he
wished
she would confide in him (even though it would probably be when he was P-
chan) and explain why her attitude toward Ranma had shifted so.
Unfortunately, she was out of town with her friends.  And when she came
back--did he really want her to tell him something that would surely break
his heart?
        As he dried off with the towel, Ryouga thought back to the
confrontation he'd had with Ranma out in the woods during that trip to the
mountains.  No matter how much Ranma had denied it, Ryouga was certain
_something_ had happened in that underground cave.  Why else would Ranma
risk his mother's
wrath and carry on as he did at the masquerade ball?  Could it be that the
brainless, insensitive lout actually _cared_  that much for his fiancee?
        And--Ryouga hated to think--had _shown_ her how much?
        <It couldn't be,>  he told himself as he reached for his clothes.
<And yet . . . I'm not sure.  Something passes between them every time
Akane glares at him or knocks him into the stratosphere.  No one else
picks it up, but I do.>
        He didn't want to see Akane with Ranma, and vice versa.  He loved
her too much.  But what could he do except wait and see?
        "Akane-san, you deserve so much better than Ranma,"  he muttered.
        *Slap!*
        Something like a damp towel produced an irritating pain on his
backside.
        "Yaaah!"  he yowled, dropping his clothing.   "All right, who did
that?"  He spun around.
        Onna-Ranma stood there in the doorway, looking completely innocent,
even as she held a towel in her hands.
        Furious, Ryouga growled. "You!  How did you get in here?"
        "Through the door, stupid,"  Ranma answered matter-of-factly,
laughing.  "Oh, man, you should've seen your face,"  she added with a
kawaii grin.
        Shaking a fist at his rival, Ryouga snarled.  "Unfeeling lout!
Didn't Akane tell you to leave me alone while she was gone?"
        Ranma snorted.  "She told me to leave _P-chan_ alone, Ryouga."
Again the kawaii but mischievous grin.  "And you ain't P-chan right now,
are ya, Pig-boy?"
        Furious, Ryouga started toward her , then remembered that he was
unclothed, and Ranma was female.  Hastily he snatched up a towel to cover
himself and threw a bandanna at her.  "You brute--get outta here!  Can't I
have any privacy?"
        "Oh, will you just quit it, Ryouga?"  Ranma rolled her eyes and
dodged the bandanna.  "I just came to use the hot water."  As was routine
she closed the door and started to undress.
        "Aaaaaaah!  Have you lost your mind?"  Ryouga shrieked, backing
away.  "What if someone sees us in here like this?"
        Ranma regarded him out the corner of her eye.  "Ryouga, you're such
a moron.  I'm changing back into a guy, OK?  Geez!  It's okay for guys to
be together in the bathroom."
        "But . . ."  Ryouga's words trailed off as Ranma pulled the shirt
over her head.  Always a gentleman in a girl's presence--even if that girl
_was_ Ranma--Ryouga shut his eyes and turned his head.
        Seconds later Otoko-Ranma was drying himself off.
        "Ah, that felt good."  He tossed aside the towel and glanced over
at Ryouga.  "Um, Ryouga, you can open your eyes now,"  he said
sarcastically.  "I'm out of my cursed form."
        "Are . . . are you sure?"  Ryouga mumbled, cracking open one eye
ever so slightly.
        A large drop of sweat appeared on Ranma's head.  "Ryouga . . .
can't you tell by my voice change?!"
        "Huh?"  Ryouga opened both eyes.  "Oh, yeah.  What was I thinking?"
He laughed, embarrassed.
        <Geez, what a twit.>  "I swear, Ryouga, you've been acting really
weird these past few days.  You don't even pick fights as much as you used
to.  And I could use the exercise."  He scrutinized him.  "Don't tell me
the great Ryouga Hibiki is getting soft."
        "Shut up!"  his rival hissed, straightening his collar.  "How can
you talk about being soft, when you just now came in here as a girl?"
        "It just so happens,"  Ranma retaliated evenly, "that Pop threw a
bucket of water at me.  That's why I came in here like that.  And what's
it matter anyway?"  Ranma snorted, slipping his shirt back on.  It always
amazed him how silly Ryouga got nowadays whenever he got an unrestricted
view of his nude or partially nude female form.  <As if a girl's body were
anything to flip out over.  Of course, he ain't as used to seeing a girl
like I am.>
        Shrugging, Ryouga shouldered his backpack.  "Guess it doesn't
matter much to you anymore."
        Ranma fixed him with a cold stare.  "And that means--what?"
        Ryouga opened his mouth.  He wanted to make some snide remark about
Ranma's curse.  More importantly, he wanted to say he knew something was
up between him and Akane.  He wanted to accuse Ranma of corrupting Akane
to suite his own needs.  And he wanted to beat the living snot out of his
rival.
        Strangely enough, all he did was sigh.
        "It means . . . nothing, Ranma."  He turned to go.
        Ranma's eyes made that squelchy noise as he blinked.  "Uh, Ryouga,
wait a minute.  Are you feeling OK?  I half expected you to try to pound
my face
in or something."  He considered.  "Oh, I know what it is--P-chan's pining
for his widdle mistress."
        That did it.  "Ranma," Ryouga growled, bracing himself to charge.
        Ranma grinned, also assuming a stance.  "Ah-hah, I knew some fight
was still left in you.  OK, man, make your move."
        Ryouga crouched, tingling with ki.
        He didn't attack.
        Ranma frowned.  He hated to admit it, but he didn't like this.  He
and Ryouga should've destroyed half the bathroom by now.
        "Yo, Ryouga . . ."
        "Let's just drop it for now, Ranma,"  Ryouga interrupted, turning
to go.  "We'll finish this another time.  He clenched his fist, then let
out a frustrated howl, startling Ranma so that he 'promise posed.'
        "What's happening?  Nothing makes sense anymore!"
        "No kidding!"  Ranma choked out as Ryouga dashed out the bathroom
door (or rather--through it, since he didn't even open the door).
        <Whoa, was _he_ ever in a hurry!>  Ranma leaned against the wall,
thinking hard.  <Pig-boy must've eaten a bad truffle.  And if I'm not
mistaken, he seems . . . more depressed than usual.>  Then Ranma's pigtail
stood erect.  <Oh, damn, I hope he doesn't Shishi Houkoudan the place.
It's bad enough with me
being able to Haze-->
        Then he froze.  Was he actually concerned about Ryouga's welfare?
Imagine him, worried about Ryouga, a guy who turned into a little black
pig.  A guy who coveted his fiancee even though she only thought of him as
a good friend.  A guy who'd spent most of his time trying to make Ranma's
life even more of a living hell.
        A guy who hadn't done that last bit recently.
        "He must be holding out to get attention," the Pig-Tailed Boy
reasoned, sliding open the bathroom door.  "He can't have Akane, so he
takes it out on me.  Well, I ain't standing for it.  Something's took the
fight out of him, and if it kills me, I'm gonna put it right back in him!
I'll make him the same irritating, battle-hardy moron he was at the
beginning."  He laughed.
        <Besides,> he continued mentally, <if I ain't fighting with the
tomboy, who else would I pick on?>

        Somewhere along the streets of Nerima, Ryouga pounded his fist into
a concrete wall.  So great was his anguish, he didn't notice the pain--or
the rather large crack he was making in the wall.
        "Why is life so unfair?"  he wondered aloud as he drew back his
fist for another blow.  His rivalry with Ranma had spanned years, ever
since the Bread Feud at his and Ranma's old school.  Of all Ranma's
adversaries, he probably had the most reasons to hate the Nyannichuan-
cursed marital artist.  After all, it was Ranma who'd inadvertantly caused
Ryouga to fall under a Jusenkyou curse; it was Ranma whom Fate had engaged
to Akane, a girl he _claimed_ he didn't want; and it was Ranma who'd
bested him in several fights, sometimes using his female form to get the
upper hand.
        <He never plays fair,>  he thought, grinding his teeth.  <Why does
he manage to get the best of me?  I'm a decent guy, aren't I?  Why can't
_I_ find happiness?>  Again he punched the wall.  <Why?  I'd swear Fate's
against me.>  He paused for a second, sighing.  <At least Akane's getting
what she wants, even if it is that lout Ranma.  Maybe . . . maybe I should
just back off, go back to Akari, and start over . . .>
        He'd been telling himself that for a long time, but for some reason
he couldn't force himself to follow through.  Akane, whether she realized
it or not, needed him.  And as for Ranma--well, he knew he needed to keep
an eye on him, to make sure he didn't make Akane eternally unhappy.
        And there was some other reason, but he couldn't quite put his
finger on it.
        He huffed.  "Who cares anyway?"  He delivered another punch.  "But
one thing's certain--when I get back I'm gonna turn back into P-chan and
bit the hell out of Ranma for the next two weeks!"  His plans having
lifted his spirits for a moment, Ryouga began laughing maniacally.
        As he cackled, a piece of wall gave way and smacked him on the
head.
        "Houf!"  he grunted as he fell to the ground.  <Boy, did _that_
hurt. I must be getting soft like that jerk said.>  Rubbing his head, he
picked himself up.  <And I hate to admit it, but he's right.  I haven't
uppercutted him into a tree in days.>  He sighed.  <Maybe I should-->
        "Greetings, Ryouga Hibiki,"  an aristocratic voice growled from the
shadows.
        Ryouga forgot the annoying throbbing on his head and assumed a
stance, scanning around him.  "OK, whoever you are, come out so I can see
you!"
he yelled.
        The voice's owner chuckled.  "Very well.  I shall comply, knave."
        Ryouga blinked.  That voice sounded familiar.  "Hey,"  he began, as
someone stepped out of the shadows, "aren't you--"
        "The very same."  A determined expression on his face, Tatewaki
Kunou emerged, his bokken at the ready.  "It is I, the Blue Thunder of
Furinkan High, the--"
        "Yeah, yeah, I know,"  Ryouga interrupted, relaxing a bit.
"Listen, Kunou, I don't know why you've come, but now is not the time to
annoy me--"
        "Address me as 'Upperclassman,'"  Kunou snarled, taking another
step forward.
        "Um . . . OK."  <What a pompous ass.>  "'Upperclassman' it is,
then.  Now may I ask why you're waving your stick at me?"
        "It is a _bokken,_"  Kunou answered.  "But enough small talk.  You,
Ryouga Hibiki, have incurred the wrath of the great Tatewaki Kunou,
beloved of the tigress Akane Tendou and the bold and beauteous Pig-Tailed
Girl.  For your transgression you must pay!"  That said, he leapt forward
and sliced at Ryouga.
        "Hey!"  Ryouga squealed, leaping out of the way as Kunou's bokken
cut a groove in the earth.  "Transgression?  What're you talking about?
I've never--"
        "Silence, cur!"  Kunou took another swipe at his target and missed.
As Kunou brought his sword up again, Ryouga rolled onto the ground and
snatched up his bamboo umbrella, bringing it up just in time to meet
another of Kunou's attacks.  Frustrated, Kunou beat at him, but Ryouga
kept blocking.
        "Monster!"  Kunou roared.  "Do you think you can escape Heaven's
wrath?"
        "What?"  Ryouga, seeing an opening, tripped Kunou, allowing himself
time to spring to his feet.  "Since when did you become a god?"
        "Since when did you think yourself worthy enough to sport with my
Pig-Tailed Goddess?"  Kunou retorted, preparing to attack Ryouga with the
Blue Thunder Strike.
        Ryouga almost forgot to retaliate.  "I did . . . WHAT?"  he
demanded, whipping out his belt and wrapping it around Kunou.
        "Ungh!"  Kunou groaned as Ryouga's belt tightened around him.  As
he struggled, Ryouga leapt forward and grabbed Kunou by his robe.
        Kunou sullenly regarded him.  "This hurts, you know."
        "Never mind that!"  Baring his fangs, Ryouga stared Kunou full in
the face.  "Now, Kunou, what
. . in the hell . . . are you TALKING ABOUT?"
        Despite his calm expression, Kunou was shaking.  "Thou pig!
Villain!  Do you dare feign ignorance before Tatewaki Kunou?"
        Ryouga shook him, his head inflating with his rage.  "Kunou no
yarou!  I'm warning you--"
        Kunou swallowed.  "Hmm.  You still feign innocence?  Very well.  I
shall play along.  Look in the inside flap of my robe."
        Never taking his eyes off him, Ryouga complied.  He pulled out a
stack of photos.
        "And what are these?"
        Kunou closed his eyes and smirked.  "Why don't you look and see
your villainy for yourself?"
        *Grumble.*  Releasing Kunou, Ryouga glanced at the first picture--
and began twitching.
        Kunou nodded, satisfied.  "_Now_ will you confess?"
        "These are . . . are . . ."  Sweat ran down Ryouga's brow, and his
eyes widened so far they took up ninety percent of his face.  "These are .
. pictures of me,"  he mumbled.  <And . . . Ranma.>
        "Taken by my good Sasuke at the masquerade ball,"  Kunou finished,
eyes narrowing.  "Where you saw fit to join with Saotome in exploiting my
Goddess's affections!"  With renewed strength, he pushed himself from the
ground.
        "Now hold on, Kunou!"  In his shock and utter embarrassment Ryouga
dropped the photos.  "Exploiting your Goddess's . . . affections?"  he
choked.
        "Yes!"  Kunou thundered, melodramatic tears streaming down his
face.  "Saotome forced his will on her, driving her into your embrace."
He gazed at Ryouga with contempt.  "And you--you--"
        "Wait a minute!"  Ryouga felt as though his heart had stopped.
"You're not thinking that I--that he--she--and I--uh--"  He gulped, unable
to finish his sentence.
        Kunou regarded him with some measure of pity.  "And you still deny
it, even with evidence before you?  You are a stubborn one, Ryouga
Hibiki."
        Meanwhile, Ryouga's twitching became more and more violent.  "Oh my
god . . . if anyone else sees these . . . It's bad enough Akane-san was
right there . . ."
        Kunou took his inattention as an insult.  "Enough reminiscing!  I
shall punish you!"  He sprang forward once more, waving his bokken.
        Recovering for the briefest of moments, Ryouga touched a point on
the ground before him.
        "Bakusai Tenketsu!"
        His 'blasting point hole' technique shattered the earth, flinging
dirt, rocks, and Kunou away.
        Ignoring Kunou's 'promise posed' unconscious form, Ryouga fumed.
        "I _knew_ Ranma's perversity would get me in trouble!"  he snarled.
"And what's worse, Kunou's got pictures."  He ran a nervous hand through
his thick hair.  "I'll bet anything he has the negatives, and if that
unstable sister of his has been making copies
. ."  He gulped, not wanting to think about the consequences.
        "Ranma!"  he screamed to the skies,  "you've really done it this
time!"

        Back at the Kunou manor Kodachi's evil laughter filled the halls.
        "Oh my,"  she voiced aloud to no one in particular.  "My poor
brother--how sad!  I knew he wouldn't take it well."  She smiled,
fingering the black rose that was her namesake.  "By now he's probably
confronting that Ryouga person about his 'transgression.'  And that idiot
wanderer will probably be somewhere whining about retrieving the
evidence of his folly."  Idly she fingered the photos.  "But he shall not
have them--not until he arranges another match between myself and that--
that"--she bared her teeth--"little tramp of his."
        Anticipating revenge of the most glorious proportions, Kodachi
planned.

        Back at the Tendou residence, Ryouga and Ranma were having a little
discussion.
        "Kunou thinks we did WHAT?"
        Otoko-Ranma brought up a fist to block Ryouga's punch, not
believing what he'd just heard.
        "Yakamashii!!  I don't even want to think about it!"  With a
frustrated roar, Ryouga lunged again, piling on the blows.  "You jerk!
This is--*grunt*--all your fault."
        "_My_ fault?" Ranma repeated, finding an opening and flipping him
over.  "How the hell is it my fault?"
        Ryouga picked himself off the ground, panting.  "Cut the innocent
act, Saotome.  If you hadn't attacked me that night, none of this would've
happened."
        "Aw, come off it, 'P-chan,'" Ranma sneered, also panting.  "If
you'd just minded your business, I wouldn't've had to fight you!"
        "What else was I supposed to do, after seeing you prance about like
you did in front of the whole school?"
        Ranma rolled his eyes.  "I was trying to get Akane a birthday
present!"
        "So you said."  Ryouga whipped out his bamboo umbrella and threw it
at him. "Whoa!"  Ranma yelped as he dodged the sharpened end.
<Well, looks like I got the fight back in him, and I didn't do nothing
directly.  Just as well.  His moping about has been really pissing me
off.>
        "Uh, Ryouga, can't we talk about this?  I mean, it's great you've
turned back into a raving maniac, but--"
        "Shut UP!"  Ryouga roared.  <What does he think this is--a joke?!>
"I've had it, Saotome.  I'm going to finish you if it's the last thing I
do!"
        Firmly resolved, Ryouga whipped out his rod-like belt, intending to
wrap it around his rival and bring him down.  Ranma cursed.
        <I don't believe it--I've seriously ticked the Pig-boy off.  And he
was bad enough before!  I'd better calm him down, or I'll never get a word
in.>
        Also resolved, Ranma used a Saotome Final Attack--Ready, Set,
Runaway.
        In other words, he turned and ran.
        Ryouga calmed down long enough to look dumbfounded for the next few
moments.  "Wha--"  He dropped his belt.  "What's that coward up to now?"
        A moment of hesitation was all Ranma needed.
        *Splash!*
        Now P-chan stood where Ryouga had.  Before he could turn around,
Ranma had grabbed him up by the bandanna around his neck and brought him
to eye
level.
        "There,"  Ranma said, holding the little black pig just out of
range of his face.  "Now will you listen to me?"
        "Kweee, kweee, oink, kweee!" said P-chan, struggling violently in
his grasp and cursing in piggy language.
        "Yeah, whatever."  Ranma replied, not having the slightest idea
what Ryouga had just said.  "Look, man, if anything you got yourself in
this mess.  All you ever do is interfere with me and the tomboy.  Would
you just for once back off?"
        P-chan shook a hoof at him.
        "There's no need to flip me off, Ryouga,"  Ranma groused, thumping
the piglet's snout.  "I mean, why're you so worked up anyway?  Kunou's an
idiot--everybody knows that.  Why don't you just ignore him?  Or better
yet, just go find him and beat him up?"
        "Kweee, kweee, oink!"  spat P-chan.
        Ranma sighed.  "You know, this one-sided conversation just ain't
working."  He thought for a moment.  "OK, I'll make you a deal.  If I
change you back, will you listen to me?"
        P-chan glowered at him.  After a moment of tense silence, the
piglet hung his head and grunted.
        "Guess that meant yes,"  Ranma grumbled, and headed into the house.

        Ryouga sat in the bathtub, calmer now (especially since Ranma was
holding a cold shower spout over his head).
        "So what're you going to do about this, Ranma?"  Ryouga muttered,
giving his rival the evil eye.
        "What am I supposed to do?"  Ranma countered.  "Why don't _you_ do
something about it, huh?"
        Ryouga hunched his shoulders.  "If that sister of his has spread
copies around . . . my reputation's ruined.  I'm surprised Akane still
speaks to me."
        "I'm not.   That tomboy's a forgiving soul.  Violent and
kawaiikune, but a forgiving soul."
        Ryouga raised his fist.  "Stop calling her that!"
        "What?  A forgiving soul?"
        "Arrgh!  You know what I meant, you brainless lout!"
        "Careful, Pig-boy, or you'll end up part of a Western breakfast,"
Ranma threatened, brandishing the shower head.  "Why're you worrying about
the tomboy anyway, man?  She blamed _me_ for what happened, not you."
        "Good!"  Ryouga shot back.  "Because it was
all--"
        "My fault.  Yeah, yeah, you said that already."  Ranma finished,
bored.  "But really, P-chan, I _should_  just let you suffer.  Now me--I
couldn't care less."
        "So you're not worried about what people think of you?"
        "After what I did at that stupid costume party?  Get real, man.
What's important is that I won the fight."
        Ryouga sighed.  "Well, maybe _you_ have nothing to lose, but as for
me . . ."  He pounded his fist into the bottom of the tub, splashing some
of the warm water.  "I have enough on my mind without having to deal with
Kunou."
        "Oh, don't tell me you're scared of Kunou, Ryouga."
        "I'm not!"
        Unconvinced, Ranma leaned against the wall.  "Then--what's your
problem?"
        "How can you ask that?"  Ryouga rested his chin in one hand.  "I
told you--Kunou has photos."
        "And we were just fighting in them.  Big deal."
        "That's not the point."  The eternal Lost Boy groaned, exasperated.
"To anyone else--to anyone who didn't know what was really going on . . ."
He gave Ranma a sharp look.
        Ranma's brow furrowed, then he reddened.  "Oh
. . yeah.  I see what you mean."
        Ryouga beat his head against the side of the tub.  <Damn.  How can
he be taking this so lightly?>  "Of all the Jusenkyou curses, why the
Nyannichuan?"  he mumbled.
        Ranma heard the mumbling and frowned.  "What was that?"
        Ryouga's head paused in mid-slam.  < . . .>
        His rival quirked an eyebrow.  "Uh, Ryouga--"
        His enemy-friend clenched his fist, breathing as though he were
about to scream.
        Ranma jerked.  "Wha-what'd I say?"
        Managing to keep his frustration in check, Ryouga shrugged.  "Never
mind.  It doesn't matter."
He looked away.  "Just leave me alone."
        Grinding his teeth, Ranma tossed aside the shower head.  "Fine
then."  He headed for the door.  "You can sit and sulk all you want.  I
got things to do.  See ya, Pig-boy,"  he sneered as he left.
        <Insensitive swine.>  Ryouga's dark look followed Ranma's departing
form.  <So what if it doesn't matter to him anymore what people think? It
matters to me.  I don't want everyone thinking something happened when it
didn't!  And does he plan to do something about this?  No!  He'll think of
Akane-san's feelings, but not mine.>  He let out a frustrated sigh.
<Akane, what do you see in him?>
        As he mused, he imagined a little Akuma-Ryouga sitting on his
shoulder,hissing in his ear.
        <<Ranma's to blame for all your problems, Ryouga,>>  the creature
chuckled, glowing and caressing a pitchfork.
        "No kidding,"  muttered Ryouga aloud.
        Akuma-Ryouga: <<So why don't you go after him?  Kick him around a
bit?  Show him the folly of toying with Ryouga Hibiki?>>  Gleefully it
poked him with its imaginary pitchfork.
        "Yeah, why don't I?"  Engrossed in the imaginary conversation,
Ryouga seethed, the bathtub water seeming to boil in time with his fury.
"Why don't I?"
        <<Yeah, why?>>  Akuma-Ryouga slavered with anticipation.
        "Because I"--suddenly Ryouga dropped his head-- "know it won't do
any good."
        The Akuma-Ryouga face-faulted and vanished with a *poof.*
        Disgruntled, all Ryouga could do was continue sulking.

        Sometime later Kodachi Kunou found her brother Tatewaki face-down
on the ground before a damaged concrete wall.
        "Oniisama?  Brother dear?"  she called, using a dainty foot to flip
him over.
        Her abrupt gesture caused Kunou to come to.
        "Ohhh,"  he moaning, sitting up.  "That coward--how dare he smite
_me_ and then flee?"  He massaged his head.
        Kodachi rolled her eyes and fingered the baton she carried around.
"Let me guess--you challenged the wandering miscreant and let him defeat
you."  She made a tsk-tsk noise and half-smiled.  "Really, Brother dear,
why don't you just let Ryouga Hibiki have that Pig-Tailed Hussy and be
done with it?  You don't need her."
        "You don't understand, Sister,"  Kunou countered, regaining enough
strength to rise.  "I _do_ need her.  How could I possibly forsake my bold
Goddess?  Without the love of both Akane Tendou AND my Venus I cannot feel
whole!"
        Kodachi groaned.  Why couldn't he see that his pursuit of the
osage-no-onna would ruin him?  "Wise up, Brother dear.  That hussy has
chosen another for her games--"
        "No, you're wrong!"  Kunou's outburst started the Black Rose so
that she nearly dropped her baton.  "She is an innocent pawn.  And I swear
from this day forward that I shall not rest until Ryouga Hibiki pays for
what he has done!"
        As Kunou's battle aura flared up, he cackled.
        As her brother reveled in his mad thoughts, Kodachi shrugged and
contemplated her next move.

PART II:  Please Me, but Don't Tease Me

        "Come back here and fight me, you coward!"  Ryouga demanded,
casting aside the water hose he'd used to spray his rival.
        Onna-Ranma stuck out her tongue at him.   "You gotta catch me
first, Pig-boy!"  she taunted, darting aside as he lunged at her.
        Sitting nearby, Kasumi Tendou glanced up from the book on medicinal
herbs she'd borrowed from Toufuu-sensei and chuckled.  It seemed with
Akane and
most of the household temporarily absent, these fights had become more and
more prevalent.  Especially since Ryouga had managed _not_ to get lost so
much recently.
        "Miracles can happen,"  Kasumi had said in her usual cheerful
manner.  At first she'd worried about the mess the two would make, but
then she'd reconsidered.  With Akane away for a while the two were
probably under a lot of stress and needed some means for release.
        *Crash!* went one of the carp pond's rocks as it slammed into the
roof.
        "Oh dear,"  Kasumi murmured, frowning slightly.  "Poor Otousan.  He
won't want to see _that_ when he gets home."
        Meanwhile, Ryouga was on the roof, chasing after Ranma with another
rock.
        "Glutton!"  he roared, heaving it at her.  "You _knew_ Kasumi had
saved that last bit of sakura mochi for me.  Yet you still ate it!"
        Amused, Ranma bounded over his head to the nearest roof.  "It
didn't have your name on it, and I was hungry.  I'm a growing boy, you
know!"
        Again Ryouga lunged at her.  "Oh yeah?  With the way you keep
pigging out, you'll probably lose your girlish figure!"  he sneered in
mid-air.
        Ranma landed on the roof and assumed a stance as her rival landed a
few feet away from her.  "Hah!  At least I got a _human_ figure to worry
about.   Nyaah, nyaah!"
        "Arrgh!"  Ryouga snarled, his fury--and Ranma's momentary
inattention as she teased him--giving him the chance to knock her down.
        "Uf!"  Ranma grunted as she lost her footing and, after flailing
about for a few seconds, dropped over the side.
        Satisfied, a panting Ryouga adjusted his bandanna and smirked.
"That should teach you."  He leaned over the side of the roof--
        --to see Ranma still hanging on.
        Ryouga 'promise posed.'  "B-b-but I just--how did you--you should
be as flat as wonton pastry!"  he shrieked.
        Gripping the side of the roof, Ranma favored him with one of her
teary-eyed, kawaii looks.
        "Ryouga, how could you?"  she mumbled dramatically.  "Slamming me
like that.  I'm a woman!"
        Ryouga paused.  "What?  Oh, don't be stupid, Ranma!"  He waved her
protestations aside, but for some reason he felt uneasy.  True, Ranma was
a guy, but . . . well, he'd done some pretty convincing things in the
past.   And he _was_ the only one who could possibly know what he was at
any given time--
        But Ryouga's stubborness regained control.  "Hah!  Just get up from
there and stop whining,"  he snapped.
        But all Ranma did was stare at him with those huge blue eyes.  "I
can't!  The arms on this girl body just aren't strong enough."
        Ryouga groaned.  The gentleman in him wanted to help her, but this-
-this_girl_--was Ranma.  Stubbornly he shook his head.  "Not this time,
Ranma.  I'm wise to your little tricks.  Now be a man and pull yourself
up."  He turned his back to her and waited.  <There,>  he thought
gleefully.  <I guess I showed him.>
        Below, Ranma sighed.  <OK, now you asked for it.>  "Oh, OK, but . .
could you do one little thing first?"
        Ryouga yawned.  "Like what?"
        "Well . . . could you turn around for a sec?"
        <Now that's a dumb request.>  "What for?"  Annoyed, he turned
around to look back down at her.
        Instead he saw her cleavage staring back up at him.
        Naturally Ryouga made a lot of incomprehensible noises.  Before he
could shut his eyes, Ranma grabbed him by his leg and flipped him over the
side.
        As she watched Ryouga sail toward the carp pond, Ranma smirked and
shook her head.  "Falls for it every time."
        And as Ryouga prepared to become one with the cold water, pleasant
images of revenge danced in his head.
        <Kunou can wait for the time being,>  Ryouga, or rather P-chan,
mused as he struggled out of the water.

        Somewhere under the floor of the house Sasuke adjusted his tape
recorder, listening intently as Onna-Ranma ran about, a severely pissed
black piglet chomping her ankle.
        "Oww!  Stop it, you swine!"  she yelled, pausing long enough to
shake her leg.  Unfortunately P-chan wouldn't let go.  She screamed in
frustration.
        "Stupid swine--you got what you deserved!  And you're making too
big a deal out of it.  And come to think of it, how--*grunt*--are you
gonna--*another grunt*--become a father someday if you can't stand the
sight of a girl's body?  You're hopeless, you know that?"
        Sasuke blinked, astounded.   Did he hear what he thought he did?
Eagerly he tried to listen for more, but the osage-no-onna had already
left, cursing all the way.
          Hoping he'd gotten enough evidence, Sasuke grabbed his tape
recorder.
        "I must report this to Master Kunou!"  He jumped up--
        --and slammed his head against the floor.
        Once he came to, he _then_ decided to report to his master.

        "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
        Kunou's screams resonated throughout the halls (and possibly
throughout the whole of Japan) after Sasuke played the tape for him.
        Nearby Kodachi curled her lip in disgust.  "Vile.  Simply vile.
She certainly doesn't waste any time, does she?"
        From the floor Kunou moaned in agony.  Slowly he raised his head.
        "I can no longer sit by and let this perversity continue.  I must
act!"
        "So must I,"  Kodachi murmured to herself.

        <He did it to me again!>  Ryouga mentally groused, standing at the
main entrance to the Doujou.  <And what's worse, he _laughed_ about it!>
He ground his teeth.  <It's all a game to him . . . . >
        He sighed.  At least Ranma had gotten his.  The bruises on that
ankle, while not serious, would irritate Ranma for while.  <Hah!  If I
can't kill him, I can at least get on his nerves.>
        Who could have known something as little as that could be so
satisfying?
        As he learned against the wall, he failed to notice the black rose
petals beginning to fall about.
        Then he heard it.
        "OHOHOHOHOHOHHHH!"
        Ryouga must have jumped at least ten feet he was so startled, and
as he hugged the wall he glanced up to see leotard-clad young woman eyeing
him like a jungle cat coming in for the kill.
        "Kodachi?"  he managed as a black rose floated down in front of his
face.
        "The very same,"  she answered, waving.  "I do hope I haven't
startled you."
        Ryouga noticed he was hugging the wall and hastily climbed down.
Trying to regain his dignity, he asked casually, "So, Kodachi Kunou.  What
brings
you here?"
        Again Kodachi laughed, and shivers ran up and down Ryouga's spine.
"I have something you want."  With a flourish she whipped out something
and dangled it in front of him.
        Ryouga gasped.  "The negatives!"
        "Oh yes, my dear Ryouga Hibiki,"  the Black Rose continued, patting
them.  "Because of these, my poor brother is determined to kill you."  She
made a tsk-tsk noise and regarded him with a mixture of pity and
contempt.  "Really, young man, you have such a strange taste in women.
Normally I wouldn't care, but since I have a grudge against her--"
        Ryouga seriously wanted to scream.  "Chotto, mate, Kodachi!
Backup."  He stared at her.  "Your brother wants to . . . kill me?"
        "For your transgression, yes."  She sighed.    "As far as I'm
concerned,though, you can have her--"
        Ryouga took a deep breath.  "But we didn't do ANYTHING!"
        Kodachi snorted.  "Yes, I'm sure you didn't.  Besides, that's not
what people will think when they see the pictures made from these."
        Her victim's eyes narrowed.  "You want something from me, don't
you?"
        "Naturally.  I just came to tell you that if you want these"--again
she dangled the negatives--you'll have to arrange a meeting between me and
your . . . woman."
        "Nanda to?"
        "You heard."  Kodachi sniffed.  "I plan to finish her once and for
all, so I'm afraid you'll have to find someone else for your little
games."  She flicked aside her long ponytail.  "Now--do we have a deal?"
        Ryouga felt completely at a loss.  He knew quite well the hatred
Kodachi had for Onna-Ranma, but well, why should he care?  Ranma hadn't
exactly been considerate towards him lately.
        Turning on his heel, Ryouga shrugged.  "Sorry, Kodachi, but if you
want to fight that--that heartless . . .um, girl--you'll have to see
Ranma."
        Kodachi frowned.  "Oh, no you don't!  You're not dragging my Ranma-
sama into this mess!"  Violently she stamped her foot.  "I've neglected my
revenge for far too long.  It's time I made her pay for defeating me--the
illustrious Black Rose--in that martial gymnastics
tournament."  She glared at him.  "And if you don't aid me, I'll spread
these pictures around.  So there!"
        That got Ryouga's attention.  He *eeped*, imagining how embarrassed
he would be.  He started sweating.
        "You . . . wouldn't"
        "I would!"  Satisfied that she'd pushed the right button, Kodachi
dropped down to the ground to stand beside him.  "_Now_ will you
cooperate?"
        <How the hell do you get me into these messes, Saotome?>  Ryouga
wondered miserably.

        "So why're you still coming to me with this?"  Otoko-Ranma asked as
Ryouga collared him.
        Breathing hard in his enraged state, Ryouga bared his fangs.  "You
KNOW why!"
        "Yeah, yeah, let's not start that again.  Let go before I break
your face!"
        "You just try it,"  Ryouga countered, glaring.   "It's time you
made up for all the hell you've put me through!"
        Ranma blinked.  "Huh?"
        "Don't you get it?  I'm tired of you ruining my life!"
        "Ruining your life?"
        "Aaaaaah!"
        "Hey!"  Ranma jerked out of his grasp and smacked him on the head.
"Stop yelling in my face."
        "Why shouldn't I?  Ever since we were kids . . . you . . . you . .
  He sought the words, but couldn't voice them he was so frustrated.
        "I what?"  Suddenly Ranma looked even more confused and very
annoyed.  "You know, you're making about as much sense as a human as you
do as a
pig."  He shifted his weight to his other leg.  "I knew it--you _have_
been eating bad truffles.  That's the only reason you're acting so weird.
What is your problem?"
        Ryouga grabbed his hair as though he wanted to yank it out.  "I
don't know!"
        Ranma's irises shrank.  "Then why're you wasting my time?"
        "Blow this off if you want, but I'd still like to know how you're
getting me out of this mess with Kunou and Kodachi."
        He set his jaw, more sullen than depressed.  Ranma seriously wanted
to beat some sense into his rival.  This was so dumb.  Ryouga was taking
this far
more seriously than he should.  Why couldn't he just go find Kunou, take
that bamboo umbrella, and beat the hell of him?  Wasn't that simple?  And
Kodachi--she could be dealt with, too.  Of course, to do that, one would
have to get near her--
        <And living in the same country with her is scary enough,> Ranma
mused, shivering.  He glanced back at Ryouga.
        "You really think those photos are gonna ruin you for life?"
        "Well, maybe not for life,"  Ryouga shot back.  "But they're pretty
damn embarrassing!  I can't believe you.  Have you _no_ shame?"  he
shrieked.
        "But--hey!"  Ranma sputtered.  "You started it!  I can't help it
you get those dumb nosebleeds."
        "Oh sure, poke fun at me.  Go right ahead."  Angrily he jabbed
Ranma's nose.  "How _I_ feel means nothing to you, Ranma!  It never did.
And now, because of you, I've got that deranged Kunou lusting after my
head, and his even weirder sister planning my downfall.  Thanks a lot!"
        "Uh-huh."  Ranma wracked his brain.  He regarded the sullen Ryouga
for a moment, then sighed.
        <Man, I'm probably gonna hate myself for this.>  "Ryouga?"
        "What?"
        Relunctantly Ranma leaned forward.  "OK . . . here's the deal . . .

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