Jeffrey "OneShot" Wong


Just Won't Die Spinoff 7


     "Being a girl is better than being a boy," Jun said in that sweet little 
voice of hers. She was in the living room with Ranma at his house. All the adult 
females were there. They had gotten back home after their usual Friday dinner 
together. Ranma had made a comment about a car accident being reported on the 
news most likely being cause by a female driver, thus the battles of the sexes 
once again began.
  Jun was the only child at the house. The children weren't home. Shinji had 
gone out with his classmates to the new movie that had opened up at the local 
theater. Rei had gone to the library in hopes of taking out a few good books to 
read. Asuka had gone to the amusement park with several of her friends.
  "And what makes you think that, honey?" Ranma asked curiously. He turned his 
attention toward Jun, his arm resting along the back of the couch he was sitting 
on.
  "Because girls are made from sugar and spice and everythin' nice," she 
squeaked in a happy voice.
  Ranma opened his mouth to retort but found himself at a loss for words. 
  "Yeah, Ranma, Jun's right. It's far better to be made of sugar and spice and 
everything nice," Priss smiled.  She couldn't help but feel this warm sensation 
in her heart. That little argument Jun made up was so adorable.
   "Not unless Ranma likes 'em made of whip and chains and things that bring 
pain," Linna gave Ranma a wink.
  Ranma regarded Linna like she was a crazy person, and then pretended like he 
was thying to shoo her away as if she were a fly, "Go away,"
  He turned toward Jun, "All right. You might have a point. It probably is 
better bein' made of such things. However, we're the ones that bring home the 
bacon,"
  "But I don't like bacon, it tastes yucky," Jun commented.
  "Um, er.....well, it's not like that,"
  Jun said, "Also, girls live longer than boys,"
  "Well, that's true....but that's because we're working ourselves to the bone 
to put a roof a girl's head," he said.
  "Which is another good reason why it's better to be a girl," Jun said, "Mommy 
told me that it's much easier for a girl to marry a rich guy than a guy to marry 
a rich girl,"
  "Um, well, you have a point...."
  "That's why I'm gonna marry ya," Jun cheered, "Because you're rich and I will 
never hafta do work like chores. I can stay home all day and read a nice book or 
watch television,"
  Ranma raised a hand, "Now hold up. Sure, I know we're gonna get married when 
ya grow up, but is that the real reason why you would marry me?"
  Jun cheerfully nodded her head.
  The adult females burst out in laughter. They adored Jun naively honest 
replies. 
  "I can call also Mommy Mommy and it would seem cute but when a boy calls Mommy 
Mommy, he seems kinda wimpy," she said.
  "That's very true, Ranma," Sylia commented, "No matter how old we are, if you 
call our mothers 'Mommy', it'll make us seem like a little girl again,"
  "Boys are obsessed with tools and stuff," Jun continued on.
  "Well, that's because we like to fix things," he replied.
  Jun yawned.
  Ranma smiled, slightly relieved. Jun was sleepy. 
  "Jun, it's getting late, you better go to sleep," he said. He got up off the 
couch and picked Jun up in her arms. Because she was tired, she didn't seem to 
even attempt to stay up later than her usual bedtime.
  It took several minutes for Ranma to bring Jun upstairs and into his room 
where she would sleep. Afterall, Jun was sleeping over and she always slept in 
Ramna's room with Ranma. When he got tired, he would sleep under the same covers 
as her.
  When Ranma came back downstairs, the girls regarded Ranma wryly.
  "It seems Jun was ripping you a new asshole with that 'boys are better than 
girls' crap you always bring up," Priss commented, all the while smirking, 
"There seemed to be nothing you could say to argue against her,"
  Ranma shrugged his shoulders, "Well, she ain't here anymore, now is she?"
  "Hmph, it doesn't matter anyway, we all know that females are better than 
males," Linna said.
  "Oh, don't bring this up again," Ranma said, "Didn't we have this argument 
before?" 
  "Yes, but you seem to be too stupid to realize that you had lost that 
conversation. But then again, it's probably a male trait. They're too stupid to 
realize they when they're wrong," Priss taunted him. 
  "Oh, you want a rematch?" one of Ranma's eyebrow perked up.
  "Yeah, but you're going to lose, just like last time," Misato smirked.
  "Fine, gimme your best shot," he said, ready for another fun evening of 
arguing. Sure, it was him against Misato, Ritsuko, Akane, Sylia, Priss, Linna, 
and Nene, but he was going to convince them once and for all why being male was 
far better than being female.
  "We fill the ice trays," Sylia began, "The sight of a man's underwear doesn't 
turn us on. We would seem like perverts if we wear men's underwear while a man 
with not only look disgusting, but will also be considered a pervert if he were 
to wear women's panties. Also, with men, just hearing the word panties will turn 
them on. And at least we change our underwear,"
  Ranma shook his head, "I don't think so. I do change my underwear from time to 
time,"
  "How many pairs of u-underwear to have?" Nene asked.
  Ranma thought about it for a moment before replying, "Three. I used to have 
five but two of 'em disappeared somehow,"
  "Perhaps someone stole it," Ritsuko commented. When the girls glared at her, 
she held her hands up and said defensively, "Don't look at me. I didn't do it. 
That's somethin' Misato would probably do,"
  "I-I did not!" Misato blushed crimson.
  Ranma's eyes narrowed, "Are you sure?"
  "Y-y-yes," she stammered in reply.
  Figuring that was probably the best answer he was going to get out of her, 
Ranma shrugged his shoulders and turned toward Nene and said, "Well, whatever. 
Anyway, I only have four pairs of underwear. Why?" 
  "How many times do you do your laundry?" she continued on.
  Ranma thought a moment before saying, "Actually, I don't know,"
  "That's because I'm the one doin' it," Akane glared at him, "And frankly, now 
that I think about it, I haven't heard a single thank you,"
  He rubbed his chin, "Hm, I guess you're right. I never realized. All right, 
thanks for doin' my laundry then, Akane,"
  Akane flushed slightly. She wasn't expecting Ranma to so overt in expressing 
his appreciation. He seemed genuinely grateful of her doing his clothes now that 
he was aware of it.
  "All right," Nene turned toward Akane, "How often do you do your laundry?"
  "I dunno, usually about once every week and a half. Why?" 
  Ritsuko realized what Nene was getting at, "I-if Ranma has only four pairs of 
u-underwear, and the laundry's only being done once every week and a half...."
  "Ewwww," the girls cringed.
  "The point is is that at least we change our underwear," Linna commented.
  "In defense, it's actually more efficient," Ranma retorted, "Sometimes we 
forget to bring a fresh pair of underwear into the bathroom with us. And you 
know how we hate having to wear the towel through the house and into our bedroom 
because we sometimes forget to put it back in the bathroom for the next shower,"
  "That's disgusting," Akane muttered, "That must mean that when I actually _do_ 
wash Ranma's stuff, especially his u-underwear, he had been wearing that same 
pair at least three times before it's washed," 
  She looked at her hands and added, "I think I'm going to amputate my hands 
now,"
  "Well, with a guy, it's okay," Ranma said after a moment, "There's yet another 
example why being a guy's better than being a girl,"
  "No! I don't think so. It's far better being female," Sylia quickly 
interrupted, "We can get out of getting a ticket by crying. You men are always 
forgetful. For instance, you men always forget birthdays and anniversaries,"
  "So what if we forget birthdays or anniversaries," he retorted, "You women 
forget sports stats,"
  Sylia's right eye twitched slightly. The girls felt this overwhelming urge to 
choke Ranma to death. 
  "What kind of shitty excuse is that?" Priss jumped in, "A birthday or 
anniversary is far more important than some stupid sports stats,"
  Ranma chuckled, "That's what you think. That goes to show you that females are 
no where near as smart as us males. Things like sports stats are far more 
important than an anniversary or birthday. With birthdays and anniversaries, 
they remain the same days while with sport stats, they're constantly changing. 
It's far harder to remember sport stats, thus that means we are better at 
remembering more complicated things,"
  "That's a load of bullshit," Priss spat, "It just goes to show you that males 
are stupider because they would actually forget simple things in order to 
remember those so-called 'important' things,"
  Ranma grinned, this look of triumph on his visage, "Ha! So you admit it! You 
admit that they're more important,"
  "Ranma, do you have any idea what you're saying?" Ritsuko asked.
  "Yes," he said, "I'm letting you guys realize that I'm now aware that you feel 
that sports stats are important. C'mon, Priss, admit it again,"
  "I admit nothing. However, I would admit that men are stupid," Priss crossed 
her arms over her chest.
  "Well, I heard it," Ranma smiled, "We all heard it. You admitted that sport 
stats are more important. That's all that matter,"
  "You're an idiot!" Priss shouted, a vein popping up on her forehead, "Do you 
have some kinda selective hearing?"
  "What didja say?" he asked.
  "Argh!!" Priss stormed out of the room.
  Ranma grinned, "It also goes to show ya that females can't handle stress. Look 
at Priss. She couldn't deal with the fact that she was losing this argument so 
all she could do was leave,"
  "And just what makes you think _we're_ the ones that's losing this argument?!" 
the remaing girls shouted in unison.
  Ranma stood where he was, "So try and convince me. Try and convince me why 
it's better to be a female than a male,"
  "That's what we've been tryin' to tell you!" Misato said, "You want some more 
reasons? Fine. At least we know how to spell, even when we get it right. We are 
aware that washing dishes actually requires the use of dishsoap," 
  "Speaking of which, the same thing goes for showers," Akane said, "We're aware 
that taking a shower actually requires the use of soap, not standing in front of 
the water for ten minutes like you men do," She recalled on every occasion that 
the soap bar on the tiny platform next to the bathtub seemed to remain dry, even 
though Ranma took a  bath before her.
  "You mean that green thing by the tub? That stuffs disgusting. No guy in his 
right mind would use that thing," he said, "Aren't you girls smart enough to 
realize that the first thing you wash with that thing in the morning is also the 
same thing used to wash your last body part in your previous shower?"
  The girls looked at each other, this odd look on their faces.
  "What kind of insane logic is that?" Ritsuko comment. She let out a breath, 
"Heh, leave it to a guy to think of some kind of idiocy such as that,"
  "At least we wear clean socks," Misato said, continuing on with the barrage, 
"Unlike you cavemen who would rummage through your dirty laundry and use that 
'sniff' test to make sure they at least smelled clean. You know how it goes. 
'Hm, these socks look clean. They aren't turned inside out. Sniff. Yeah, it 
doesn't smell _THAT_ dirty so it must be clean,'"
  The girls burst out laughing at Misato's little impression. What made it so 
funny was that she made her voice low and acted out as if she were rummaging 
through dirty laundry and then doing the 'sniff' test.
  "Females are better at remembering things," Akane said, "Females still 
remember their first kiss after a male have forgotten their last,"
  "Then how come you can't remember sport stats?" one of Ranma's eyebrow raised 
as he peered intently at Akane.
  "So what? You men are the same with anniversaries and birthdays," Ritsuko 
joined in. 
  Priss entered the room again. She seemed a bit calmer now.
  Ranma said, "A female is stupid because if they weren't, they'd say something 
like, 'I just realized something, my butt doesn't look fat in this dress. My 
butt is fat!' instead of having to ask a guy that some cryptic question like 
'Does this dress make my butt look fat?'" 
  "And men are even stupider because they would say some crap like 'Not really, 
when anyone with common sense should simply say, 'No, of course not,'" Linna 
said.
  "Well, at least we can read a map," Ranma said, "We can program our vcr," He 
didn't bother to mention that Shinji had programmed the vcr. 
  He continued on and said, "PMS: it is your problem, not mine. You guys had it 
monthly since puberty. You'd figure by now you'd have learned to live with it by 
now. That goes to show you women have cope with anything even if it did occur 
monthly and that they hafta suffer from PMS,"
  "Do you wanna die?" Priss sneered. 
  Ranma, unperturbed by Priss' threat, said, "We're not doomed to drive only an 
automatic. We know what a blinking red light is,"
  "Ha, you're wrong there! I ride a bike, and it isn't an automatic. And I know 
what a blinking red light means," Priss retorted, smiling confidently.
  Ranma shrugged his shoulders, "Well, there always are exceptions......albeit 
very rarely,"
  He cleared his throat, "There are many examples as to why males are better 
than females. For instance, you girls are too stupid to put the seat down 
yourselves. Afterall, potential energy is on your side. And when guys are 
playing poker, girls are too stupid to realize that the only dealing they should 
do is to deal themselves out. Nor do they realize the small print above 'I do', 
'To honor and obey',"
  "Actually, it had been changed to 'To honor and cherish'," Ritsuko said 
logically, "But that goes to show you, males are even more stupid to still 
believe it's supposed to be like that,"
 Ranma didn't bat and eye and continued on, "We could care less if the toilet 
seat is up or not. And we can just use 'Really', 'That's interesting', or 'I 
see' to carry us through ninty percent of our coversations with you women,"
  The girls glared at Ranma.
  "With guys, centuries of evolution has made us capable of surviving on nothing 
but pizza, hamburger helper, and cheetos,"
  "What kinda shitty example is that?" Priss muttered, "You guys are idiots if 
you are actually proud of something like that.
  "You know what? I think we should just kill him," Sylia suggested, "That's 
probably the only way to get it through his thick head that we're the superior 
species,"
  Ranma raised a hand up, "Now hold up there, guys. There's no need to resort to 
violence,"
  "Y'know my motto, 'If violence isn't solving your problems, you're just not 
using enough of it'," Misato smirked.
  At that moment, a sleepy Jun chose to enter the livingroom where the heated 
bebate was about to reach cataclysmic proportions. She was carrying a stuffed 
teddy bear in one hand and a blankie in the other.
  "Jun, what are you doing up? It's late," Ranma turned toward Jun, picking her 
up and into his arms. The icy cold glares from the girls behind him didn't 
distract him one bit.
  Jun snuggled her head against Ranma's neck, "Are all of you still arguin'?"
  "Um, yeah, kinda," he said softly, slowly heading for the stairs.
  "But why are you still arguin'? Everybody knows that bein' a girl is better 
than bein' a boy," she said sleepily, "Afterall, we're made of sugar and spice 
and everything nice, while boys are made of frogs and snails and puppy dog 
tails,"
  The fight seemed to leave Ranma as Jun yawned one last time before falling 
asleep in his arms.
  He smiled, a warm feeling in his heart. 
  He turned toward the adult females and said, "If it weren't for Jun, you'd've 
lost this argument,"
  "W-what?!?" they all shouted.
  Before they could do anything, Ranma disappeared up the stairs.