The great wheel turns, bringing ages new yet old in its cycle. 
Sometimes however the great wheel flies off its axle; rolls down a 
cosmic ditch; and then falls off a trans-dimensional cliff... You get 
the picture. Anyway, this story recounts one of those situations, and 
the slightly off-kilter universe that was created when the great 
wheel righted itself again.

It had been the pinnacle of Man's achievement. A great society built 
both on Science and Magic. Man had spread his wings and flown to the 
farthest reaches of his Solar System, his playpen. At last, Man was 
poised to take flight from his birth-system and travel to the stars. 
Ancient texts tell the start of the story, though it is a tale of 
rivalry between two siblings told in their letters to an third party, 
there is another story to be gleaned from these missives...

***

I shall never forget the day I first saw them, they descended from 
the very heavens garbed in light. The five Goddesses, to whom I have 
devoted mile life lighted just outside the Queen's palace. How can I 
describe them? The language is far too limited a palette to provide 
an image worthy of the Holy Ones.

And SHE was among them. The other four wore ponytails, but chef 
amongst them in mine heart was the fire-haired pigtailed goddess, 
Sailor Star Flyer. Of course, I found Sailor Star Fighter far to dear 
to ignore. Indeed, I love all five of the Goddesses, with Sailor Star 
Healer, Sailor Star Maker, and Sailor Star Dancer completing their 
holy complement. However, it is the first two mentioned that I devote 
every fiber of mine soul and being.

Thomas Krause.

***

Ignore my dear brother. I too was there when the five space harlots 
first arrived to infest the Moon Palace. If the Queen's Sailor Senshi 
are garbed too briefly, the space vixens are garbed in naught but 
scandal.  I do not know what material their attire consists of, save 
that it is black. Indeed, no good woman would be caught even in her 
bedroom so under-attired.

Yet my drooling dolt of a brother and his followers follow these 
sirens, enraptured by their voiceless song. Reason seems lost to my 
poor sibling and his followers; perhaps it is the foul magics the 
black-garbed sorceresses practice.

However, behind the black cloud marking the arrival of the five 
despoilers is the rainbow of the other five arrivals that day. The 
Five Lights also appeared just a few hours thereafter. Their arrival 
was heralded not by a hell-spawned light show but the sweetest music 
I have ever heard.

I have devoted my life to them. Handsome redheaded Ran is surely 
first among them. Second to him is black haired Seiya. The other 
three handsome men complete my true pantheon, unlike my brother's 
false one. Silver haired Yaten, Brown haired Taiki, and purple haired 
Sean.

Katrina Krause.

***

Foul magics indeed! It is the villainous Five Lights who have 
ensorcelled mine own sister, the members of the 'fan club' she leads, 
and the five Goddesses. I shall never forget the day the palace 
itself was attacked. After the battle, Sailor Star Flyer lighted just 
before me. The battle had been hard, and her body fairly glistened 
with the glow of her exertions. I shouted to her, and mine Goddess 
herself turned to face me.

"Get away from me, Krause. I don't want to have anything to do with 
you!" She shouted, but her very eyes begged me to save her from the 
Evil in which she was ensnared. So in the grasp of Evil was she that 
she even slapped mine own face, which hurt muchly.

The pain of her attack only strengthened mine resolve. "Nay, mine 
Goddess, I shall not forsake you!" I shouted before turning around to 
find the evil sorcerer Ran, to whom she was misfortunately bound. 
Then I heard his mocking voice where, an instant before, Sailor Star 
Flyer had stood.

"It's supposed to be a secret, but I'm SICK of you!" The Evil One 
grabbed mine very shoulders and shook. "Hey, Krause! Look at me. 
We're the same. Can't you get it through your thick head?" The Lord 
of Darkness shouted. But I was not deceived by his lies. Truth was 
the very light that exposed his deceptions plainly.

"Nay, betrayer. Die, enslaver of women!" I pushed him away from me. 
In an instant, my trusty blade was in my hand and I lunged. But he 
was crafty. I felt a sharp pain, and then my vision went dark.

When I awoke, he had spirited off my Goddess again.

Fear not, dear Star Flyer. I shall save you! To this I swear my very 
life.

Thomas Krause

***

Alas, poor Thomas, my brother has tasted the lunar dust. The Moon 
Kingdom has fallen, and my poor brother was there to see its final 
destruction. It seems he has joined his 'goddess' in Hell, as the 
Queen and all her warriors were slain.

Now that the Five Lights are free of the vixens, the members of the 
Five Lights Fan Club with me at their head await their return. Please 
come back to me, Ran!

Katrina Krause.

***

Five Lights

A curious little Ranma/Sailor Moon fusion

by Kevin D. Hammel

Episode 1: Cats? What Cats?

Ranma 1/2 is property of Rumiko Takahashi. Publication Rights are 
held by Viz in the US and Shogakukan in Japan. Sailor Moon is 
property of Naoko Takeuchi. Publication rights held by Kodansha Ltd. 
in Japan and Mixx Entertainment in the US. My purpose is to honor 
these creators and their works. No infringement intended.

***

A darkened room, lit only by a bare light bulb, and music... Five 
young women (at least for the purposes of the band, thanks) sang 
their hearts out in a recording both. Their first album had done 
surprisingly well, so they were hard at work on their second.

Four of these five had their petty squabbles. Two of the other four 
had fought over the hand of the third, for instance. All that had 
been resolved a few months ago, which had finally allowed Doco to get 
its start.

The fourth member, who doubled as manager, had made life miserable 
for her little sister and her little sister's fiancee... now her 
little sister's husband. But... hey, look at all the money she had 
brought in selling all those pictures of the pair... Not to mention 
all the income generated running betting pools on the various fights 
that sprang from all the chaos in her brother-in-law's wake. And her 
hard work on the band had finally paid off in a recording contract 
and a second tour.

The tallest of the singers was blissfully unaware of the machinations 
of the others, even now. But she could cheer up almost anyone and 
brighten even the grimmest moments with her sunny smile and unique 
ability to find the good in almost anything. Her happy disposition 
was soon to be tested.

In the booth, their engineer was satisfied with this take of the last 
track. Speaking over the intercom, he let them know at the end of the 
track. "Okay, I think I've got what I need. Thanks, girls!"

The shortest of the singers, a redhead whose face matched the fire of 
her hair right then jerked a finger at the booth, shouting, "C'mon, 
take that back. I ain't no girl, see? You're such a jerk, Hikaru!"

She was answered by amplified laughter, as the recording engineer 
sought to keep from busting a gut.

***

On the way home from the recording studio, Ranma and Akane walked 
lazily toward the Tendou compound from their bus stop. As was 
traditional, the old woman down the street from the Tendous chose 
THAT time to wash her sidewalk. She waited until Ranma was in range, 
then...

"Hey, watch where you're throwin' that water!" A... male? Ranma 
shouted. "Hey!" he said as he turned to Akane, "I'm a GUY, Akane!" 
Then he shared his discovery with the whole block as he ran the rest 
of the way home; "I'M A GUY! I'M A GUY!"

Akane blinked in shock, then lit out after her husband.

Nabiki had been following a discrete distance behind, stopping at the 
latest revelation. "Oh, brother! I finally find a way to make REAL 
money off his curse and he gets cured!" Nabiki sadly shook her head 
and plodded down the street after them. "Guess I need to look for a 
new fifth singer. As a guy, Ranma just doesn't fit in Doco any more." 
Of course, cures had never dropped out of the sky before.

The old lady sadly walked back to her house. It looked like show time 
was over... permanently. She muttered to herself, "Ooooh! And cable 
is SO expensive." Angry, she stomped through, slamming it behind her.

That night Ranma drew himself a hot bath and cleaned himself in 
preparation. The cold water was no problem now. After a few minutes 
Akane joined him in the pre-bathing ritual of cleansing.

Ranma had always enjoyed hot baths, but NOW he could enjoy cold water 
too... He glanced at his wife, who looked up at him with a winning 
smile, then stepped into the water.

Something strange was going on... He felt a familiar sensation, as 
his body shrank and changed. Ranma traded a shocked look with Akane 
as she sank slowly into the bathtub.

"Ranma... what happened?" Akane asked, dreading the answer.

"I dunno, Akane, but I DO know what hot water does... use to do. 
Maybe something got switched around." She bolted out of the water, 
filled the basin and dumped cold water over herself. Amidst 
shivering, she smiled as her body assumed its... 'cursed' form.

Ranma turned to Akane, whose mouth hung open in shock. After a few 
moments, his wife pointed to his head and did a good impression of a 
fish as she soundlessly opened and closed her mouth.

"A... Akane, what's wrong?" Ranma asked, honestly dreading what ELSE 
could have happened. His sense of touch told him his hair was still 
there. Turning to the mirror, his answer was plain as the hair on his 
head... which now was red. And his eyes were every bit as blue as 
they had been in her cursed form.

A different pair of eyes watched the odd spectacle from a small 
window then disappeared. A faint sound of small feet could be heard 
from the yard... if anyone took the time to listen. Of course nobody 
was very concerned about faint sounds outside right now.

Ranma looked thoughtful as he put two and two together. "A... Akane I 
guess that I'm a girl now..."

Akane jumped out of the bath and stomped over to her husband, getting 
right in Ranma's face. "Ranma, you dummy! Were you BORN a girl?"

"Well... uh no 'course I wasn't!" Ranma said in a quiet voice, 
somewhere between shock and resignation.

"Ranma... are you a girl right now?" Akane asked. This was NOT going 
to degenerate into an angst-fest if SHE could help it!

He didn't even need to think about it. "No, BUT the way the curse 
works is that hot water turns me back to my true form."

"Ranma, are you going to let a SINK, a BATHTUB, or a TEAKETTLE tell 
you what you are? Or will you let me, your wife... who LOVES you tell 
you?" She waited for a few milliseconds, "WELL?" She finally spat 
out, tapping her right foot in agitation.

Ranma swallowed. It looked like mallet time was approaching... fast. 
His sad expression turned a bit happier as he thought about the 
advantages of being a cursed 'girl'. "Hey, that means that I can be 
ME in the rain, and whenever anyone dumps cold water on me. He was 
smiling now. "And I'll never have to worry about that crazy old woman 
again!"

"That's right Ranma. You're the tomboy for me!"

Ranma's expression wilted a bit as he continued. "But... what will I 
do with my bathing suits? I sorta like going to the beach!"

"Ranma, you... you... pervert! We'll just buy you some more swimming 
trunks." She threw her arms around him and almost purred as she 
looked straight into his eyes to continue. "Besides, If you want... 
We can always go to a hot springs resort, if you'd like to wear you 
old suits."

Discussion was ended as Akane almost swallowed Ranma in a kiss. But 
he couldn't help wondering just WHAT had happened.

***

Taking a break during a practice session, the members of Doco sat in 
a circle, going over the strange events of the day. Each of the 
singers had a glass of ice-water in front of her, to combat the 
threat of their greatest current enemies, dry throats.

Talk went fairly innocuously around the circle, until it got to 
Ranma. "Something really weird happened yesterday." Ranma said as she 
got up and poured some of her ice water over her head.

Nabiki stared at Ranma, as HIS change sunk in. "Hey, Red! What 
happened to YOUR hair?"

"Please, don't argue!" Kasumi implored, again; sounding like a broken 
record... uh... a CD that skipped.

"Well, it all started when SOMEHOW I changed into a girl." Ranma 
answered his sister-in-law levelly.

"Uh huh... R-i-g-h-t!" Nabiki said as she gave Ranma's chest a poke. 
"Yep, you're a girl alright!" She turned to Akane with a smile. "My 
condolences little sister!"

Shampoo looked a little upset at Nabiki. "Nabiki, water very 
important to cursed person. Remember, COLD water change back. Cold 
water change mean Ranma girl now."

"But!" Akane interjected, "What it really means is that Ranma can be 
a guy a lot more often."

"Yep, you'll look CUTE at the beach in one of your 'Boy' one-pieces, 
Ranma-chan." Nabiki said with a grin.

"Yeah, but I think Akane will like the fact I'm a guy!" Ranma said, 
nodding his head affirmatively on the word guy. "B... But I'll wear a 
pair of trunks at the beach instead of a girl's bathing suit!" He 
hurried to add.

"Perhaps we should practice again." Kasumi said, hoping to end the 
discussion.

Ranma used the omni-present hot water kettle to change back and all 
five singers took their places. But the discussion wasn't really 
over, as a cultured female voice rang out. "Hello, girls! We have 
come to help you claim your destiny."

"Huh?" Nabiki said while she blinked. The voices seemed just behind 
her, but a little lower. Looking down, she saw something VERY 
strange. "Uh... Ranma... stay away from here, please!"

"So, what's the joke time Nabiki? Practicing up on your..." She 
looked down to where Nabiki's eyes were focused, " Ventrilo... 
CATSSSS!" Ranma yelped. In moments, there was a Ranma-sized hole in 
the dojo wall.

"My!" Kasumi said, and then looked down, seeing two cats. One was 
black, the other white. Both had strange moon-shaped markings on 
their foreheads. "Oh! Talking cats! How nice!" She pleasantly 
exclaimed.

Akane took off after Ranma.

The black cat spoke in the cultured, female voice they had heard 
before, "You girls have a very important destiny to fulfill." She 
turned first to Kasumi. I would like to help you understand it, and 
REMBER why it is important. Will you let me do that?"

"Oh, yes. Please!" Kasumi said, as she was bathed in light. As she 
felt the warmth go through her.

***

It was just a few minutes later that Ranma and Akane returned to the 
dojo. Ranma's shirt and pants were ripped. Various and sundry 
branches, berries, and leaves added a certain compost-pile panache to 
her ensemble.

"It's Okay, Ranma..." Akane said, then jerked her head around to see 
Kasumi. "Big sister, is the coast clear? Are the cats gone?"

"There were never any cats here, Akane-chan. Just aliens that look 
exactly like cats. It's really quite amazing how similar to cats..."

Ranma cringed at each feline reference in her sister-in-law's 
statement.

"Please, Kasumi. We can discuss this later when Ranma isn't around." 
Nabiki whispered, loudly.

"Oh, right. I'm sorry." Kasumi said as she shut up.

Akane looked a little miffed. "Okay, then are there any ALIENS that 
LOOK LIKE CATS still in the dojo?" she shouted.

Kasumi smiled, "Of course, little sister. They want to speak with you 
and Ranma."

"I don't care WHAT they are. I ain't goin' in there!" Ranma shouted.

"Okay Ranma, how's this? YOU sit in the doorway and face the street. 
Close your eyes and just listen, okay? We ALL know cats can't talk, 
right?" Nabiki said in the voice that could suck yen out of Kunou's 
pocket like a vacuum.

"Whatcha mean? I SAW those cats talk!" Ranma argued.

"Exactly Ranma. You saw them talk. That means they aren't cats!" 
Nabiki retorted. Point to her, but did she win the match? Of course, 
if Ranma didn't realize she had scored a point...

"Bu... bu..." Ranma stammered.

Akane gave her husband, well the beat-up looking and scratched girl 
who was USUALLY her husband, her most winning smile. "Please, Ranma. 
Trust me. They aren't cats... Let's just sit down in the doorway. 
Close your eyes and listen to them for a while, okay?"

"O... okay." Ranma said as she shut her eyes tightly.

"Ranma and Akane, we came to help you remember your pasts tonight." 
The female voice they had heard earlier said. Her tone was gentle and 
soothing as she continued, "Have either of you heard of the Sailor 
Senshi?"

"Yeah, I've heard of 'em!" Ranma spat, "They're girls who run around 
in school uniforms with really short skirts and blow up monsters. 
What a crock! They're just a buncha girls! Weak..."

"Grr..." Shampoo growled.

"Stupid..."

"Hmmm..." Nabiki scowled.

"Girls!"

"Oh, my!" Kasumi said, politely voicing her disagreement.

Ranma felt a tap on her shoulder. "Yeah, what?" She said as she 
turned to Akane, eyes still glued shut.

"Ranma... My wonderful, arrogant, swaggering, macho, pervert-of-a-
husband... May I remind you of one teeny-tiny thing?"

"Yeah, Akane? What?"

"Right now, love... YOU... ARE... A... GIRL!!!!" She hollered, using 
the renowned Tendou family demon-head technique.

"Yeah, but what's that gotta do with anything?" Ranma said with all 
the arrogance she could project with eyes closed tightly in fear.

Everyone but Ranma face-faulted. But, since her eyes were closed, she 
didn't notice.

"Right," The black-haired cat said, "Well, you two were Sailor Senshi 
in you previous lives. We'd like to help you remember, so you can 
help the others."

"Uhh... Will we have to wear some GIRL'S school uniform with a really 
short skirt?"

"No," a male voice replied. "You won't have to wear a girl's school 
uniform with a really short skirt... I promise." The white cat said.

The black cat big-sweated.

Ranma turned to face her wife, eyes still tightly shut. "You wanna do 
this, Akane-chan?"

Akane turned to see her the other three members of their group 
smiling encouragingly. "Okay. Let's do it Ranma."

"'kay, I'll do it." Ranma said in a whisper. She had a VERY bad 
feeling about this. But if Akane-chan wanted it, she did too. Maybe 
this way Akane would actually amount to something as a fighter. Using 
Magical Girl powers was really cheating... but it was a lot better 
than Akane growing whiskers or something.

Ignorance is, as the saying goes, bliss.

Ranma and Akane both felt warmth surrounding them, helping them 
recall that they HAD fought for a Princess; a long time ago in a 
galaxy far, far away... No, not THAT one! Code-names and 
transformation phrases also returned to their minds, but that was 
all. A locked mental doorway was opened however, and they might 
remember more in the future.

When Ranma opened her eyes, the cats were gone.

The... aliens had left five ear piece-microphones similar to the ones 
Doco used on their last tour. Somehow Ranma KNEW which one was hers, 
but it didn't look like it would fit...

In fact, nobody's seemed to fit. Until they put them on. Then they 
fit perfectly. Very strange.

"So, what does all this mean anyway?" Nabiki asked for all the girls 
in the room.

***

Yes, I KNOW. In canon, the Starlights came to earth directly in the 
last TV series/end of manga. This time they just showed up a 
millennium earlier. And there were five of them. And they got 
reincarnated. And...

I finally got a handle on WHY Ranma's curse flipped now, which 
resulted in a lot less rewriting than I had projected. It's the cats' 
fault. Really.

My new thinking has also allowed Kasumi to keep her normal hair 
color.

Kevin D. Hammel
April 6, 2000

========================================
khammel@anime.sobhrach.com
kevinsff@pacbell.net
http://www.anime.sobhrach.com/~khammel/
========================================